Waiting Period: Day 2 of 10

Happy Halloween! I can’t say we’re really sorry to miss that particular holiday at home. Wouldn’t it be strange for Halloween to be the kids’ first American holiday? Welcome to America, now we’re going to dress up like dead people. Weird. Haven’t seen much here to indicate they celebrate Halloween, except for the jack-o-lanterns at Cherry Pizza today:





















So, already we’ve been here for four days. It’s very odd to me how we’ve only seen the kids for two days in a row now, but we’ve already fallen back into the routine established in September. Get up, go eat breakfast, meet Sergei out front (same driver!), play with the kids at the orphanage all morning. Meet Sergei out front of the orphanage, he drops us off at Cherry Pizza or McDonalds, have lunch and walk back to the hotel. Spend late afternoons/evenings either reading or watching a few TV shows we’ve downloaded on iTunes. (iTunes has been a life saver, although now we’re hooked on a couple of TV shows we’ll never have time to watch once we get home.)

It’s almost like we never left. We continue to make progress with the kids in small steps every day. Alex and Vala like me fine, but they’re definitely intrigued with Papa and would rather have his attention. I’ve spent the majority of the time the last couple days with Talia, and we’re definitely starting to connect. She’s not terribly concerned about doing what Papa says at this point, but she’s starting to listen to me. (Whew.) As we all get to know each other, I’m feeling better about how the transition may go once we get home. I know there will be lots of, shall we say, CHALLENGES, but it seems less intimidating all the time.

Today there were only three families visiting kids at the orphanage. Us, the Scruggs (other Americans), and Eddie and Mary, an Irish couple that’s just started coming. I didn’t catch their last name yet, I’ll try to get that tomorrow. Eddie and Mary seem a little overwhelmed, and were REALLY relieved to hear some folks speaking English. It’s been fun to be able to communicate with the other families, and it prevents the kids from running to other Ukrainian adults who can speak their language.

It was chilly, in the 50s, and I’m wondering how cold it will have to be before we all get to play inside. But the amount of clothing they put on all the kids here is incredible – I’ve never seen such bundling. What’s that movie where the mom gets the kid ready to go out and play in the snow (note by John, it's "A Christmas Story"), and by the time the kid is finally dressed, he can’t move because he’s so bundled? That’s kind of how it is here. We’ll try to get some good photos to illustrate that.

We’ve tried some new foods on the kids, and they’ve inhaled anything we brought. Grapes, apples, bananas, yogurt, granola bars, cheese and sausage snacks, chicken nuggets. No, we didn’t bring those last two, other parents did. The little scavengers will run to whoever (whomever??) is holding anything to eat or drink. So we definitely know how to get their attention. Toys are pretty good, but food always works. We’ll keep trying new foods, with different textures.


The kids all love to play on this small landing. Talia's expression is pretty typical.








Jailbirds.








Talia was wary, then a little freaked out by one of the other papas playing "scary Halloween guy" with her. Apparently she thought he was serious. Alex, not so much.





Alex is imitating John, who's doing that "I'm watching you" expression where you point two fingers at your own eyes, then at someone else's eyes. Was that DeNiro in "Meet the Parents"? I didn't see that one, but I think that's what it's from.





We walked through the outdoor market to pick up a couple of things.






These boots are very typical of what Ukrainian women wear. Lots of black, lots of high heels, occasionally a pop of color - notice the one boot that's red.






Lots of vendors crowded together. John calls this Diagon Alley.







It was really foggy this morning, but turned out to be a beautiful day.






Mona, this one's for you. We see this calico kitty almost every day, she must live right near the hotel. She's very wary, but will allow humans to pet her. As long as it's her idea, of course.



Tomorrow will be more of the same on Saturday, then no visits on Sundays. We’re going to try to hook up with the other families for lunch on Sunday, just to break the monotony. And hopefully find some Ukrainian souvenirs. This is definitely a blue-collar town, not very touristy. But the people are great, and we’re making memories.

JoEllen

Waiting Period: Day 1 of 10

Today we went and played with the kids for the first time as their "official" new parents, it was very exciting for all. We were wondering if they would remember us or react at seeing us again, and we were richly rewarded (well mostly). They brought all 3 kids out to us in the playground, and upon seeing us Alex and Vala yelled PAPA/MAMA! and ran towards us with arms open wide and gave us big hugs. Alex then gave papa our customary "gimmee 5" handslaps that we used to do upon greeting each other...he hadn't forgotten. Talia, being true to her independent self, seemed happy to see us but ran right past us and straight to the playground, a little work to be done there still on the greeting manners.

Anyway, we broke out what little toys we'd acquired or made from the previous day and the playing began. We'd also snagged a banana and some yogurt from the breakfast bar this morning, so that was a hit as well. We forgot to bring our sippy cups for drinking water, so drink time was a bit of a mess but still it worked...we'll plan better tomorrow.

Jeanete and Michael Scruggs from Mississippi were there as well, and their cab arrived at the exact same time as us. Their new son Samuel Daniel was happy to see them, and he had a great time playing with our kids as well, they are good buds. Please pray for the Scruggs family, their court date was a couple of days before ours, but the decision was delayed till this Friday due to some incorrect paperwork...our heart goes out to them as they go through this process alongside us. We hope to hook up with them for dinner (not McDonalds) tonight.

Playtime outside was enjoyable albeit a bit of work since it is outdoors (mid-50s, a pleasant fall day), but the kids seem to be minding us a bit more now and I have the ability to keep up with them since my back is about 90% healed. I had fun lifting them up (even Alex) and swinging them around time and time again as a fun game. That would have been virtually impossible only 5 weeks ago, God is good!

Anyway, without further ado here are some of the photos I took, and some video. Enjoy!


This is Alex doing his best DiNiro imitation ("are you tawkin tah me?!") Actually I think he's just got food or something in his mouth. :)





Talia waiting for more yogurt, a good bonding exercise, and oh so tasty! JoEllen thinks she resembles a babushka in this hat.




Vala having fun on the teeter totter.







A bit of a close-up, but ain't she cute! :)








More lessons in the word "please," I like how they nod when they say it:


I pretended they bit off my finger every time they had a bite of banana, Alex got the giggles so much he couldn't stand up. We did this for quite awhile, it was pretty funny in a morbid kinda way...hey it is almost Halloween!


We've decided that Talia may have a future as an Olympic rowing captain, she takes fun so seriously! :)

Pics of the new bedroom

OK, I couldn't help but post one more time before I go to sleep (it's 1am here). Before we left KC, we took a couple of pictures of the new and improved "bedroom for 3" we assembled during our last 3 weeks at home:

Yes, we had to move all 3 beds down to the new "purple bedroom", which is our 2nd largest bedroom. In the foreground is Vala's precious little "Disney Princess" themed bed, and in the background is Alex's bed decked out in "Cars" attire (since he loves "MAHchinas").

Being true to her independent spirit, Talia's bed is sporting the "Dora The Explorer" theme which we hope she likes. Note the "reading chair" which no doubt will help provide many evenings of helping toddlers fall to sleep with various fairy tales and computer programming articles.

Thanks again to the host of friends and family who helped make this special space available with your time, talent, and treasure...it is GREATLY appreciated.

More pix tomorrow, pa-KAH for now!

Papa John

AND THE VERDICT IS.....

WE'RE PARENTS, WOOHOO (well sorta)! Our status as parents at the moment is "official, but not finalized." The judge declared us as such in court around 5:30 this evening. A few documents have yet to be signed by us, and the ever-popular "10-Day Waiting Period" has to transpire for everything to be finalized, but as far as court is concerned we are the proud new parents of Alexander Maksim, Natalia Irina, and Valentina Grace Livingston. Thanks for all your prayers and well wishes, it was very evident during the proceedings that we were in Good Hands and were exactly where we were supposed to be at exactly the appointed time.

Prior to us arriving at the courthouse, especially around 4:30, I wasn't so sure. For those of you in the know, our long-awaited court appointment today was at 4pm...someone should've informed the Ukrainian President of that, because his surprise procession through Donetsk this afternoon shut down many key streets near our hotel, causing mass gridlock for miles around. Marina, our translator, was supposed to pick us up around 3:15, but instead called around then to tell us that we should catch a cab instead and meet us at the courthouse because she was stuck in the gridlock. So we caught a cab around 3:20, and proceeded to make our way to our ever-important court appointment. The poor cab driver did his best to make good time, but the police seemed to have streets closed at every turn. In the 20 minutes it should've taken us to get to the courthouse, we moved 3 blocks...it wasn't helping our cabbie that I was having a mild (JoEllen would say severe) cardiac infarction, even with Jo trying to calm me down. It was the closest I think I've ever come to having an actual panic attack (in public). I called Marina and told her we'd be hopelessly late, and she discussed the gravity of the situation with the cabby, who confirmed what I'd just told her that there was no way around it, we'd definitely be late unless we suddenly sprouted wings. 4pm came and went with us nowhere near the courthouse, and I was pretty much an emotional puddle at that point, already figuring we'd need to make another trip home and back and other such ugly scenarios. To make a long story shorter, we did finally make it to the courthouse around 4:45 (it was dark then, due to daylight savings time here already). Marina had pleaded our case to the judge, and he mercifully granted us a little extra time for our lame excuse (the dog ate my homestudy, the President was causing gridlock, yadda-yadda.)

Anyway, at 4:45 we met Marina at the curb at the courthouse and literally RAN to the little courtroom, where all kinds of folks were gathered there waiting for us. It was a small light-wood panelled room, with a desk at one end, folks seated on benches on both sides, and a few rows of chairs at the back with a podium in front...Marina instructed us to sit beside her in the front row behind the podium and say to the judge "yadda yadda yah Livingston, blah blah Request yadda Adoption yadda." I filled in "yaddas" where I really don't recall what she said to say, we were in that much of a rush. As soon as we were seated, a tiny court reporter with the look of an empath (Trekkers know what I mean) walked in, followed by a 6'5" black-bearded linebacker (okay, the judge) wearing a black robe...they both sat down at the desk at the front of the class. He asked us each one at a time to stand up and tell us why we were adopting, does our family support us, what are our plans for home care, and various such questions. All these we did while still trying to catch our breath and still appearing not nervous. The others in the room included our attorney, a social worker, 2 caregivers from the orphanage, and another gal who announced herself as "The Prosecutor" (oh great, she's going to prosecute us, which was entirely plausible with the mini-jail cell which occupied the room just to my left). There was an endless stream of standing up and sitting down, which sort of reminded us of a church service. Anyway, we apparently answered the interrogation successfully, "Dahs", nods and smiles were exchanged, and Marina told us we were proud new parents as The Judge left the room, and then many of us exchanged hugs of joy.

So that was it in a nutshell, an unbelievably stressfull yet happy day in our journey. Marina was off to who knows where, her cab took her one way and ours took us back to the Atlas where we had a celebratory dinner of steak, veal, dessert, and espresso strong enough to take the enamel off our teeth. Tomorrow we go to see the kids for our first visit since we returned, we can't wait to see them as their new official (but not finalized) parents! We'll be working out the logistics of the next phase with Marina and Serge, but for now we are just enjoying this moment and looking forward to getting through the end of this very long tunnel. Tune in tomorrow for pictures. I think I need a drink!

Da Svidania!

Papa (for real) John

P.S. All right, it's 3am and I still can't sleep...something the judge said in his closing statements stuck with me and I really need to share it because it was profound to me. Paraphrased, he said "it is the judgement of this court and to all present that it is in the best interests of these children to place them in the care of this home." Now, that may sound like a trite legalese closing statement that is used in every adoption case that comes to this conclusion, but it really means something to me now. To me, it seems very easy in this process to get a "we vs they" mentality, whether it's vs your social worker, agency, the SDA office, or "the court", and it's your job to win at every round to succeed in the end. But what really hit me so profoundly as I heard his words and looked on the concerned faces of everyone in that room, is that we were all on the same team, pulling for the same goal. The "opponent" wasn't anyone there (not even "The Prosecutor"), the opponent was the difficult situation that the kids found themselves in, and it was ALL our jobs to see that a negative was turned into a positive...for the kids' sake. Maybe this was obvious all along to everyone else but me and I'm too dense to just now catch on, but I've caught on now baby and this team's gonna win!

Donetsk Again!

Hey everybody -

We're in Donetsk, and got here to the hotel without incident - if you don't count the taxi driver that drove like he was James Bond. Seriously. And after we get home I may never get on an airplane again. Just kidding. Sort of. I don't mind flying (love the takeoffs!), but really hate that sardine-in-a-tin-can feeling.

We're here at the Atlas (same hotel), but our room is a little higher up so we have a better view out our window. Surprisingly, it got dark about 4:30 pm. Guess I should verify if my watch is correct. Somebody on one of the planes told us that Ukraine has already done the fall back/daylight savings thing, so I'm not actually sure what time it is.

After we got here we were going to try to go to the large supermarket we went to in September, to pick up a few toys and basic supplies, but 15 minutes after we arrived (and 5 minutes after hogging all available clothing space, ha) John laid down and went to sleep. So I guess we're not going anywhere today. We'll catch up by phone with our translator Marina tonight, to see what the game plan is for tomorrow. Our court appointment is at 4 pm tomorrow, so that's the next step in the process to pray for.

In the meantime, we'll just veg out in our room for awhile. More details later!

JoEllen : >

Photo Update

Hey Everybody –

We have three weeks at home before we go back to Donetsk for court. Well, actually, now it’s more like two weeks before we leave on October 27. While we’re glad to be home for SEVERAL reasons, there’s so much to do, it’s almost overwhelming. I’m just trying to make a list of the stuff that absolutely must get done before we leave and work on that first. It’s so good to have so many friends and family that keep volunteering to help out. You’re all AMAZING!

An Italian couple we met before we left Donetsk sent us an email with some new kid photos. Apparently there was some kind of recital or program in the playroom, check out these photos. Alex Maksim and Talia Ira are in them, but no sign of Vala. Must have been just the older kids.




Sitting around a mushroom? I don't get it.































LOVE the raccoon and fox masks.








This may be the most quiet we've ever seen them.




















These polka dot hats crack me up.






On the home front, we've been collecting like crazy. We have beds (although one hasn’t arrived yet), car seats, and some clothing and toys. Most of the essentials. It’s definitely much easier to prepare when you know who will be arriving. I’ve been picking the brains of lots of experienced parents with kids this age, especially our friends who have adopted. It will definitely be a zoo when we all get home, but it will be a happy one.

We have a Russian-speaking friend who will be flying to Kiev to meet us, then fly home with us. So the kid-to-adult ratio will be 1:1, much better odds. By then John’s back will be almost normal, although he’ll still be limited on what he can lift. Just having Tim there to help communicate with the kids and to read the signs in the airport will be great. What an answer to prayer – thanks Tim and Karen!

We'll try to post a couple more times before we leave, but no promises. Too much to do!

JoEllen : >

Home again (woohoo!)

Well, we're all back home now, safe and sound (for awhile). After a 1.5 hour plane delay in Chicago, we finally arrived home around 9pm on Saturday...we promptly hit the hay and slept for 11 hours straight! Our first order of business on Sunday was to eat a nice juicy KC steak, so we went to Longhorn for lunch, came home and watched the Chiefs get embarassed, had dinner and went to bed early again.

I went to work yesterday and it was good to be back! JoEllen got a lot of errands run and visited the doctor for an eye infection she got just before she left Donetsk, it's about healed now. My back is doing much better as well, so I should be 100% by the time of our next trip.

We've got a bit of work to do as far as buying another bed (looking for a twin size) and setting up bedrooms for the 3 kids, which will be much easier now that we know who we're prepping for. We have lots of friends lined out to help with that process. Thanks also to all the folks who have been donating used toys and clothes for the kids, it's a true blessing! Any and all donations are happily accepted. Again, their sizes are:

Alex Maksim - 5T
Talia Ira - 4T
Vala - 24 months (2T)

JoEllen has outlines of the kids' feet, but we have yet to translate that into shoe sizes.

For the return trip, it looks like we'll probably be gone the better part of 3 weeks (given travel time). We'll probably leave on Sunday (Oct 26th) or Monday, and be returning around Friday (Nov 14th) or Saturday.

Well this was just a quick update, more to come, so stay tuned!

Papa John

Last post from Kiev

Hey everybody, sorry no photos this time. The train we needed to get on was sold out, so we flew a domestic airline from Donetsk to Kiev. That was quite the adventure, trying to get through a Ukrainian airport without signs in English. But we made it, and strangely enough we're back for a couple of nights in the exact same apartment we started out in. Yes, with the five flights of stairs. Sigh. So we hiked up the hill to the President Hotel again for the internet access.

An update on medical info - John's back is doing MUCH better than it was 3 weeks ago. He's getting around fine. The last night in Donetsk I apparently picked up an eye infection (in both eyes, darn it), so please pray for that to heal quickly. I'm wearing my glasses, so I can't see as well as I normally can, and both eyes are very very red. Kind of scary looking. We were able to go to the pharmacy in Donetsk before we left, and got a prescription from the pharmacist there. It looks like the same stuff I have at home, too.

So that's the scoop from Ukraine. We'll be home Saturday evening, ready to recuperate for awhile. We've really appreciated all the prayers and all the posts for Adoption 2008, Round 1!

JoEllen : >

Last post from Ukraine (most likely)

It's definitely been a whirlwind day trying to organize a way home from Donetsk. Our plan was to catch a train tonight to Kiev, but they are all booked up. So we're catching a flight from Donetsk to Kiev here in a few hours (1 hour flight vs 12 hour train, much better), and will hole up in an apartment there till our flight around 7am on Saturday. It's definitely been interesting! Anyway, at least we are that much closer to being home.

Yesterday was our final visit with the kids before we left, which was also Vala's 2nd birthday as well. So we had lots of extra parting gifts for the kids, which they all loved (since we bought these after we'd met them), and also left each kid a laminated color printout of the 2 family photos we took on earlier visits. So here's the photos from yesterday:

Here's the dolly Vala got, she spent a lot of time kissing it.








And here she is obviously enjoying it.








Talia Ira got a little doll that came with a seh-BAH-kah, I think she liked the little dog better than the girl doll. You can see Alex Maksim playing in the background with his new toy "machina" (looked like a silver Sequoia), I didn't get a good shot of him with it though.


Goodbyes were harder for some than others, Vala gave us the big "booboo lip" when we finally said "pah-KAH".






We'll finish off with a couple of video clips, this one is during treat time, good practice to say "Please".



One last clip, of the kids on the teeter-totter, with Alex Maksim and Talia Ira giving the "good job!" sign, and Vala about to obsess over her hat Mama was holding:

Coming home Saturday!

Well, the earliest we found we could get a flight home is this Saturday, our plane should arrive in KC around 7pm (United 275)! I'll see all you MRIers on Monday, can't guarantee if we'll make it Sunday to LSCC though (although we miss it greatly)...we might need some time to recover. We'll post more later about our final visit with the kids today, but this is the latest news that's fit to print.

Papa John